Automatic Transmission

So you car doesn’t have a standard stick shift, or you think that you can’t manage redlining because of the triptronic or triptronic-like device in your transimmision, then forget about Italian Tune-ups. If you do have numbers behind the D in the gear console then you are at luck, you can use those to keep the car in third or second gear, also try to do it on a long uphill, like the one on the Jordan road by the Applied Science University, somewhere there.

Do not do it on first gear as you will blow something up and try your best not to do it on fourth gear because you will gain too much speed. try to stay below the 110 KPH and always find a time and where there are less people on the street.

Radi

Italian Tune-Ups

The origin of the Italian tune up came from a story that consistently went around in the days of carburetted Alfas, Fiats, and exotics. These cars were meant to be revved, and were jetted accordingly. American drivers of the time used the gearbox (typically three speeds on the steering column) as though the car was a tractor.

First gear got you going from a stop, but once the car was rolling at all, you never went back there. The shift to third happened around 25 or 30 mph, and that’s where you stayed.

Invariably the cars would carbon up and would start running rough. Taken to the dealer for service, the technicians would simply take the cars out on the highway and rev the heck out of them until the crud was blown out the tail pipe. They would
then charge the customer for a “tune up.”

Thus the “Italian tune up” was born.

The term is now used for any assertive driving that is wide open enough to blow the crud out of a car’s engine. These days, with newer exhausts and more sensors, it is harder to do but still manageable.

Warning

The following procedure can blow your engine to: smithereens, bits, pieces, orts, perdition and kingdom-come. If you own a high-mileage, low-compression, oil-swilling, rod-knocking, piece o’ crap car (you know who you are, don’t you), don’t bother with the “Italian Tune Up” because you will end up walking home from what’s left of your sorry pile of smoking and hissing ex-car junk. OK? (I’m not kidding.)

Now. Assuming your car is otherwise in healthy condition already, and you have worked through the other steps on this site, let’s begin.

The easiest way to “blow out the carbon” is to run the car under load at high engine speed. In other words, run the car right to the redline and hold it there in every gear. For decades, experienced drivers and mechanics have called this procedure the “Italian Tune Up”.

Now this is a great trick on a race track, but hardly practical on the street.

The street alternative is to first check all fluids and top them up. Make sure you are running clean, high quality oil. I use regular dino-oil 20W50 in summer, 10W30 in winter. (A lot of experienced drivers swear by synthetic motor oils for high temperature running. The additional expense of synthetics may be offset by their longer drain intervals.)

Drive a while so that your oil and water temperatures rise into the normal zones, then head out to your local four-lane. In light or no traffic, try to run for one or two minutes at 90 to 100 kph (~ 55 to 60 mph) in second gear. The engine will be running (loudly) near the red line.

If you continue to push up into the red you will trigger the rev limiter which cuts the fuel supply in half. This will feel like a sudden roughness in the engine and a loss of power. The first time you experience this you may think you’ve blown something. Just back out of the throttle so you don’t keep banging into the rev limiter. If your engine is in good shape, this is not dangerous, just disconcerting the first time you experience it.

Again, neglected engines will not be up to the strain. If you really don’t know the maintenance history of your car, or if you’ve just bought it, do not attempt this!

WARNING #2:

If you blow a head gasket or otherwise detonate your engine by following this procedure, don’t say you weren’t warned! Because you have been warned.

Now if you feather the throttle back just out of rev limiter range and hold it there for 60 seconds or so, the car will continue to cruise smoothly, albeit loudly. (If you are not used to driving your car at or near the redline, the noise can be disconcerting, especially to your passengers!)

The point of holding the rpms steady under the red line is to get everything really hot from the piston tops and valve faces out to the catalytic converter. Under these conditions the engine will quickly reach peak operating temperatures.

I have this vision of four wonderfully hot whitish blue flames pouring out of each exhaust port into the downpipe. Sort of like getting the mixture just right on a Bunsen burner or an oxyacetylene torch, or how about on a 1650 hp Rolls Royce Merlin V12 at just under “war emergency” power? Nice!

If you have an oil temperature gauge, keep a close eye on it because depending on the ambient air temperature, this should be as high as it will ever get. In my W202 on a warmish summer day, oil temperature peaks around 100°C (~215° F). That’s hot!

Remember, if your car is in basically good shape to begin the red line is fairly conservative. A kilometer (or mile) or two of this is all you need to burn off the harmful deposits from stop and go driving. At 100 kph (~62 mph) and 6,000 rpm, a 60 to 90 second burst should be all you need.

After one or two such treatments, the improvement in low speed driveability and throttle transitions may be quite noticeable, especially after a few months of winter or just city driving.

Remember, the famous “Italian Tune Up” is meant only for drivers who know their cars well and know that their cars are in good shape. If you don’t know whether your car is up to this kind of treatment, or if you can’t afford to fix it if it blows up, then don’t risk it.

After all of this, your car should be running like a champ.

Simple, right?

Radi

Gonna getcha fixed baby

Finally, a car technician who knows, knows a lot and is HONEST! That surprised me, I was shocked when he didn’t ask for any money for his initial inspection, found out what the problem was in less than two minutes and told me how to get the part I needed without telling me where to go or trying to sell it to me.

See, I have a talent for spotting a man who is trying to make money of my back, I usually allow it to go ahead under certain conditions. Let us say, I wanna get my oil changed (no pun intended) I usually go to a first gas station, ask him what he recommends for my boss’s car who doesn’t care what he pays but wants what’s best for the car, so I get honest immaterial opinions, then I go online, check his recommendations for credibility and knowledge, then I shop around for prices.

I had a problem with my gear shifting, my ratio of combustion and the starting of the engine, I had gone through many experienced mechanics who suggested that they are all caused by incomplete burning of the fuel so the logical fix is changing the spark plugs, I did that because I wanted to change as it was due time, but I knew well before that it wasn’t the problem. Other analysis included gear box maintenance and fluids, spark wires, different Italian tune-ups and assorted techniques, and an exhaust repair.

As I said here this guy was my last resort, after which I was gonna go for the dealership, I knew what the problem was, but no one concurred and I wouldn’t do it all on my own. I entered the final shop, and I told him what was happening, I could almost see a light bulb go on above his head, this guy, stepped in the car hit the gas pedal, heard the noise, opened the hood, unplugged a wire and told me to take it for a spin.

The spin was magical because not only did he figure out the problem but the car was taking to me again. It was saying “finally”. I came back to him and I said “Air mass, ah?” he nodded and said “o ghayer filter il hawa” (change the air filter, too).

I asked how much and he said ” just go buy the part, it’s 150 JDs if its Bosch, but the original is 200, get it from Aqaba it will save you 80 JDs”. I told him I will and I thanked him and told him I will come back, he said “Don’t it’s just a change of a small piece, not worth my time, any mechanic will do.”

I thanked him again, though condescending he was right, I could do it at home, I plugged the thing back and was happy to realize that this is what they call “qualified”.

The Air Mass as they call it in Jordan is actually a piece called the “Mass Air Flow” Sensor (MAF). The MAF is a key engine sensor that detects the volume of air being drawn into the engine. In older engines the pressure of the air in the inlet manifold was detected using a MAP (Manifold Air Pressure) sensor, however with the development of these new, highly accurate MAF sensors, the engine management system can take advantage of a more accurate knowledge of the load of the engine. In the case of my car it also uses this data to decide upon the operation of the automatic gearbox: several owners have reported gear change problems and torque converter slip that we discovered was related to a dirty MAF and NOT a problem with the gearbox.

It is common of this car to have this problem and I am happy to report the Jordan still has some competent mechanics.

Radi

Driver Ed 102

This is the second part of this series about driving in Jordan, we dealt in the previous part with light usage, today we will deal with changing lanes, please make sure you use the signals when changing lanes:

Ch. 2 – Changing lanes

Don’t use the following techniques in changing lanes or streets:

1- You push the tip of your car in front of some other car, so that’s he won’t be able to pass unless you pass, I will hit you car in a second if you do that in front of me. Also, save yourself the embarrassment of your lane moving and not being able to go back.

2- You think the person in the car you are trying to cut off won’t try to go around you because he has a nice car and they won’t want to wreck it. Nice cars usually come with insurance and someone like me behind the wheel. I will hit you and your car for that silly assumption.

3- Wave your hand out of the window, there are signal lights use them.

Don’t change lanes if:

1- You are trying to go to the faster moving lane in traffic jam.
2- You think you can overtake one or two cars and reach your destination 15 seconds later, It’S NOT WORTH IT.
3- You want to checkout some girl that is in the same rush-hour traffic, if she likes you or wants you, she will open her window and talk to you. If you just wanna stare, DON’T!!!
4- You think you know someone in the other car and try to sneak up to him, especially if you have doubts because the colour of the car or the license plate number changed, IT’S NOT THE SAME CAR!!!

Please refrain from making split seconds changing lane decisions in Jordan for the following reasons:

1- Not all of Jordanians know where you are going or what you planning to do, we have the audacity to presume people will use those yellow things to tell us if you are going left or right.

2- We don’t like slamming brakes and trying to avoid your car, I swear the next time you don’t try to give sufficient signal and priority to the lane you are switching to, I will crash into you. I checked my air bags and I have two on my side that work, I will not even touch the brake, and it will be your fault and I will fix my car at the dealership on your expense, I have a good lawyer.

3- Brake pads last so short of a time in our hilly and mountainous terrain without your help, I am sick of avoiding careless drivers, my leg hurts at the end of each day.

4- Some people use crappy brakes or don’t have quality brake systems because they can’t afford it, don’t rely on the condition of our roads, nor on our concentration, we have other stuff to worry about.

The reasons I might exempt you from a crash:

1- First and foremost, you driving on the right lane and a taxi driver or a bus driver cuts you off, just to pickup that “bareezeh” or “nos-lairah”, in otherwords: ” a fare”. I don’t require much of a warning but common courtesy is still in order.

2- Trying to avoid someone else while they try to crash into you, reflexes are permitted and in some instances encouraged, especially if they situation involves pedestrians.

3- If you are shot above the waste or a female in your car is giving birth, in that case use the emergency light.

The reasons I might step on the gas while crashing into you:

1- If you are the taxi driver or bus driver cutting me off, just to pickup that “bareezeh” or “nos-lairah”, in otherwords: ” a fare”.

2- If you think that your Daewoo, Kia or Hyundai can overtake any car, especially if you drive a Pregio bus, and you make the mistake of zig-zaging between cars behind me and/or in front of me.

3- If you think that Schumacher watches videos of your driving for lessons. I mean thinking you can squeeze in an extra lane or use shoulder of the street as a lane.

Radi

Driving Ed 101

Ok here’s a crash course in driving manners, these are universally acknowledged manners, and although there is no official rule book to state them, think of them as my guide to telling you how much you stink in driving (left steering wheel countries):

Ch. 1 – Lights:
If you:
1- Use the signal light less than 2 seconds before you change lanes, you stink.
2- Use the signal light less than 5 seconds before you change lanes, you stink.
3- Don’t use the left signal when entering a roundabout (circle), you stink.
4- Don’t use the right signal when exiting a roundabout (circle), you stink.
5- Flicker the high-beam to mean “go ahead” or “come on up”, you stink.
6- Flicker the high-beam to mean anything but “give me way”, you stink.
7- Flicker the high-beam to annoy the driver in front of you, you stink.
8- Flicker the high-beam to punish the driver ahead of you, you stink.
9- If you have white light at the back of your car, or connected to the brake lights, you stink
10- Have brilliant blue lights, you stink, they aren’t zenon, they won’t be, Zenon is a brilliant white. Blue is blue, take them out, they won’t make you look cooler, trust me.
11- Have “indoor” lighting, you stink.
12- Have any lighting colour inside your car, you stink.
13- Have red light in your car, call me, I’ll shoot you myself.

Red light = Rear side of the car, also brake light and in some silly American cars, it can be the rear signal light.
White light = Direction of motion light, when you see it in your face, the car is moving towards you.
Yellow or orange light = Signal light, if the one to the left is on, the car is going to the left and vice-versa. If both are on, then you should pay attention because something is not right in that car.

There should be no other colours of lights until further notice, if you do have a green or blue light, break it. Pink, purple, same fate. Light under the car, NO, NO, NO! unless you are going to copy the guy in speed!!

Don’t use both signal lights together (emergency light) except in emergencies. If you are shot, a female is giving birth, or maybe if you halted suddenly and you want to be courteous for the person behind you.

Radi

Cars in Jordan

I drive a Mercedes-Benz C200 and no I’m not a rich kid who had his daddy buy it for him, its mine, the thing I want to say is, owning a car in Jordan is hell, I only owned one for the past three months and I am suffering. I am glad you asked why. I went to top-notch Mercedes experts, all the mechanics with years of experience in Mercedes could not figure out my tiny problem.

1- no two mechanics would give you the same opinion on any one matter.
2- all mechanics are ready to go on a trial and error quest to fix your car.
3- all mechanics want to get a hint at your budget so they can squeeze it out of you.
4- they notice little mundane things about your car that I don’t give a shit about. Like the colour of the wiring or the little extra features I have installed
5- even in parts which they get very little out of, they try to send you to their “friends” so you could get screwed over.
6- they never say “I don’t know” or “get a second opinion”, they are always sure.

I tried all the best known Mercedes mechanics and they have failed me, I only have one guy left to declare the mechanics of Jordan incompetent.

Lucky me, I saw this scene before and I didn’t fall for it, the one thing I did change where spark plugs, those looked really bad and I still felt like an idiot for not shopping more to save 2 JDs. Well, I will save 2 JDs if am willing to spend 10 in gasoline for the car.

Which brings me to my second point, the government is making a living out of the poor peoples back, I mean people in Jordan are under-payed and overtaxed. I don’t mind a 20% tax if I someone is making 50 thousand a year, I do mind people taxed and customed -I meant it literally- if the money is barely covering their needs. Also, who do I go to if I see a government employee or office squandering away our money. Yes, face it, its the taxpayers money. Welcome to the jungle.

Why does the government allow knockoffs if it warns people not to use them, and those people who line your brake pads with fiberglass, shouldn’t they close their shops. Oh, wait, we have such high unemployment that we don’t care as long as people make a living. Welcome to the Jungle.

The other day I got a parking ticket, it was in a shopping area in Amman, were they previously had a meter, just like the ones all around the world, only more high-tech because you could pay with the credit card or the pay-phone card. I loved it, so I bought a pay-phone card from that company. A week later, the company went out of business and they still owe me 3 JDs worth of parking. I told that to the police officer, I also told him that he should tear up the fine and let me park here for 10 hours, or pay me back the 3 JDs, needless to say, I went and payed the ticket yesterday.

P.S. I have a very good idea what my problem is, I found it on the Internet and a friend who owns a similar car and had the exact same problem, he went to the dealership and got it fixed but I am enjoying knowing why the dealership charges more.

Radi